The temptations of the world are becoming more and more evident to me everyday. Years ago, everything used to be so simple, but I believe that was before God opened my eyes to my sins, as well as, the sins of the world.
In my teens and twenties I was so carefree. I probably behaved a little more like a college heathen than I'd like to admit, but for the most part I was a good kid. I dated whoever I wanted, and managed to keep my wits about me. I always had a clear head on my shoulders with a plan for my life... and it went according to plan for the most part, till rescently.
When I was married, temptation was not a problem at all. I had no desire to even look at another man. Now that I'm back out in the dating world, it's not as easy as it was the first time. It's not as innocent as it used to be. Unfortunately, I am now seen a well-seasoned, been there/done that adult, by worldly standards. It's very sad and degrading.
Every night I pray for patience for my future. When it comes to me and patience, we are not good friends. I trust that the Lord will show me clear signs to lead me in the right direction when the time is right. Unfortunately, in the mean time, I'm afraid the Devil has other plans. It seems that just when I get nice and settled into my 'patient mode' something (or someone) comes along to steer me off my course. I'm willing to bet the Devil knows me rather well. He knows my weaknesses. He can see that I'm ready to move on. He probably knows the nights I'm lonley. He understands that I have gone a very, very long time without hearing a compliment, and he is playing on these weaknesses of mine.
He used to be pretty easy to spot, and to ward off. But I think He's getting better at his job. I am finding it harder and harder to ward off these temptations.
This is going to be a silly analogy, but it really helps me wrap my mind around the situation:
It's like I am stuck in a bakery, and I'm hungry. I feel like the Lord is back in the kitchen finding me the perfect gluten free, slightly sweet, whole wheat bagel that will be good for me, and he will bring it to me when the time is right. But in the mean time I'm stuck out here in the front with all these donuts. They are very tempting donuts too. Deep down I know these donuts are all just sugar coated, and cream filled, and will only do bad things to me.... But that's not keeping me from being tempted by them. So, how do I live in the bakery and stay away from the donuts while I'm waiting for my bagel??
Please, Lord, help me be able to resist them, and to just be patient.