Friday, June 20, 2014

I'm not a bride

It's the night before my wedding, and I have so many things on my mind.

All week I've been called the bride. I don't really like that. I've already been a 'bride'. I've had the big dress, and the fancy wedding. I did all that, and it failed anyway.

I'm not a bride this time. All I'm doing tomorrow is saying 'I do' to my best friend. It's not about the wedding. It's not about what I'm wearing, or the size of the ring. It's not about the perfect song or the perfectly tiered cake. It's not about making sure your bridesmaids match your groomsmen, and it's not about unity candles or aisle runners.

It's not going to matter if I spill something on my dress. It won't matter if I wake up with a zit on my face. I can sneeze all day because of allergies (and I seriously may), but it won't matter. The boys may cut up or burp as they walk me down the aisle, and it's not going to ruin anything.

It's going to be a day just like every other day. It will begin and end the same way. There won't be any more hours added to it, nor will time stand still. It will pass just like today did.

Only after tomorrow I get to be the wife to the most amazing man I've ever known. Tomorrow is important, but the day after tomorrow is what it's all about. I'm not a bride. I'm a wife-to-be. That's it.

And it's the most wonderful feeling in the world.

Yes, I'm getting married tomorrow.

But more importantly... I'll be his wife the day after tomorrow... and all the days after that.

Till death do us part.

Thank you, Lord, for this wonderful man.

Saturday, June 7, 2014

Warning: Quick to tears!!

Ok, so I'm walking through an antique store yesterday looking for mismatched cake pedestals for the wedding, and before I know it I'm crying.

Because of the antiques, you say?


Because it dawned on me that in two weeks I'll be standing at the front of my lovely church saying 'I do' to my best friend.

Darn, there I go again...

Ok, I'm better...

I can't believe it's two weeks away. Three months ago the days and weeks were crawling, and I was miserable just waiting and waiting.... and now it's like life is on fast forward! I'm actually wanting time to slow down just a little so I can breathe and enjoy everything.

My best friend. Wow. He really is.

I find myself looking at other couples, and wondering why it is that some meet their best friend when they are very young, and some when they are not so young. Everyone's life turns out different. I may not get as many years with my best friend as some will get with theirs, but the love we will put into those years will be enough for an entire lifetime. I've already been loved more in the past six months than I have all of my other years combined.

Before this year, the term 'happy tears' was just something I'd heard of but didn't really understand. These days, I get it.


...and they happen quite often. Just be forewarned.

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Answered prayers

We are officially less than three weeks till the "Big Day", and I'm so ready! It makes me think about prayer I prayed many times a year ago. That prayer was to not be alone forever. Even though, at the time, I felt the Lord wanted me to be single for a while. I just didn't know how long that would be. I knew I didn't need to rush into anything too fast. I needed to be there for my boys, spend quality time with them, and make sure they were healing from the trauma of the divorce, and put my needs on the back burner for a while.

I'd made up my mind that I needed to forget about finding someone, and just be content with where I was in life. I was in a good place.... I was feeling incomplete.... but I was content. During the day I'd be fine. My evenings were great. I'd spend time with my boys, or get some much needed work done around the house. But then night would come. Nights were too quiet. Too lonely. So I'd pray. I didn't know who I was praying for the Lord to send me, but I would pray for someone.

I like to think about the things going on in our lives as roads. There are little roads, big roads, highways, and even little dirt roads. When all these roads lead to one thing, it's easy to see that it is the Lord guiding you. I was guided by the Lord. There was no other way for me to go, and the Lord's way is always the best way. When the Lord provides an answer to your prayer, it's obvious. The timeline for David and me was right on the mark. The Lord guided us to each other at the perfect time for each of us.

It brings tears to my eyes when I think about my life finally going the way the Lord wants it to go instead of the way I wanted it to go. I'm so thankful all my plans failed. The Lord led me to someone who understands me, and loves me without question. The Lord knows what we need more than we do. Trust the Lord, and pray for things that are in your heart. The Lord will answer the prayer with what is best for you.