Thursday, February 27, 2014

On a side note....

The more I think about it, the more I actually LIKE the idea of having donuts as the wedding cake!

Now, just hear me out for a minute...

Donuts are round. You know what else is round? Rings! See, I'm not so crazy after all! There is so much symbolism when it comes to circles and weddings. Ahh, the joy of unending love.

I bet I could come up with a really cool way to make a donut wedding cake. And it would be so sweet to have little donut holes there for the kids, and for David and I to feed each other.

Call me crazy, but this sounds like a really fun idea. :)

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

The calm before the storm

I went to lunch with two of my girlfriends from church today. They were asking how everything was going, how the boys were adjusting to the idea of moving, etc, etc. Then one of them asked me how I was doing with all the changes coming...

And I thought about it, and realized I'm in a situation that would normally completely stress me out... in fact, it would push me over the edge.

But it hasn't...

I'm calm.

Extremely calm.

When I answered her, I knew exactly why I was calm. The Lord has given me peace. Peace in my upcoming marriage. Peace about moving to a new state. Peace in completely changing everything in my whole life. That's right, just about everything I call normal right now will change. I'll even be changing my job title. I'm going from working full time to being a stay at home mom. I actually think of all the changes that one scares me the most. But even then, I'm at peace with it, and I'm looking forward to it.

It's now just shy of four months till the wedding and I have very little actually planned for it. I could see my girlfriends stressing out when I told them this. But not me. I'm as cool as a cucumber. I know it will all come together eventually, and if for some reason I do forget something major, like the cake, it'll be okay. It won't keep us from getting married. If that happens I'll just grab a few boxes of donuts on the way to the church and we'll still have a grand old time.

And at the end of the day I'll still be married to the love of my life, and that's the most important thing.

I'm not worried.

Everything can go wrong, but if I'm there and he's there then it will all be perfect.

It's the calm before the storm... but not a bad storm... Changes are coming. Adjustments are coming. It will be a storm of a lot of things happening all at once. But I know that the Lord will guide us every step of the way.

Saturday, February 8, 2014

The story of us

I've been wanting to write about how David and I got together for a few reasons:

1. It is an opportunity to write about how amazing the Lord is and was when it came to getting us together.

2. I want to get down all the details now before they are just a memory.

3. So our children can go back and read about our story long after we've gone.

Our story begins in August of 2012...

The third weekend in August is the annual Rich Mountain Association in Arkansas. I'd heard of it, but had never been to it before. David, on the other hand was a regular to the association. I'd heard it was coming up, and I really thought it would be a good opportunity to get out and meet people. Looking back now, I know it was the Lord giving me the conviction to be there.

While there, I heard David preach for the first time. I'd never heard of him before that weekend. I knew of two of his brothers and his dad, but not him. All it took was hearing him preach one time, and I was completely captivated by him. I couldn't explain it. I was just drawn to him. I didn't know anything about him, so I just assumed he was married - which he was at the time. So to be drawn to him as much as I was, was something I couldn't explain.

When I got home from that meeting, I looked for him on Facebook. He was easy to find, and I was happy to see that he had over 1,000 friends. I knew that if he had that many friends, then it wouldn't be weird for me to 'friend' him. So I did, and he accepted not having a clue who I was. For the next six months I would read his posts, and continue to be intrigued by the things that he would write.

But in February of 2013 he had a post that not only made me hurt for him, but it made me really want to get to know him better. He posted about the divorce between him and his wife.

My first thought was: "Yes, I'm not the only one!!"

I wanted to see him again, I wanted to know his story, and I really just wanted an opportunity to talk to him about being a divorced Primitive Baptist.

About a month later I started hearing announcements that he was going to be at a meeting in our area in April. I knew without a doubt I had to be at that entire meeting, and somehow find a way to talk to him. But I'm so painfully shy around new people I didn't know how that would happen.

After the Saturday afternoon service of that meeting I still hadn't gotten the nerve to approach him. But the Lord took over and made it happen for me. Little did I know someone had told David that he should talk to me, only they didn't tell him why. I just happened to be walking around the back side of the building talking on the phone to my sister, when he started past me. He stopped, pointed at me, and said: "I want to talk to you." In a matter of seconds I told my sister I had to go, and I immediately told David that I wanted to talk to him too.

I introduced myself, and he remembered my name from being friends with me on Facebook. For the next half hour we shared our stories and bonded over the nearly identical situations we had just gone through. It was uncanny how alike our stories were. And it was also refreshing to see how easily we talked to each other. My fascination with him was growing.

In the weeks following that meeting I found myself in a bad situation. I was being tempted by a man in the world... a bad man... and couldn't find an escape from him. This was a low point in my existence, and I knew the devil was playing on my loneliness. I was tempted, and I was interested in dating this person. It was not a good situation. I would pray every night for an escape from him, and wake up every morning wanting to hear from him. I had a split personality, and all I wanted was to get away from him. Thankfully in early May, for some unknown reason, the man stopped talking to me. To this day I don't know why, I don't know what I did, but I've thanked the Lord for it ever since. The Lord provided my escape. The Lord knew I was too weak to handle it on my own, and He took pity on me in my horrible state.

After that terrible man was out of my life, I had one thought in my head. David. I needed to talk to David. I didn't know why, but I had to. The Lord was leading me to him again. We hadn't talked since the meeting back in April, but I sent him a message on Facebook to see how he was doing. We talked a little, and caught up on how we were doing. He then informed me that he was in a relationship and it was getting serious. I was crushed. Up until that moment I didn't even know I was interested in him romantically. I just knew I was drawn to him, and that we were going through similar situations. So, needless to say, my feeling of sadness surprised me.

Over the summer and fall we saw each other at a few meetings and would talk briefly on Facebook to keep in touch, and that fall I jumped at an opportunity to help him out. He was working on a new song book for the church, and was having trouble with some of the pages. It just so happened, the help he was needing was something I do in my job on a daily basis. It would be no problem for me to do what he was needing. Our talking increased because of the book, and our friendship was growing.

Around October he started telling me that it wasn't going very good with the woman he was seeing. My first concern was to be there for my friend, and to listen. But deep down in me somewhere, I started to get my hopes up. A few weeks after that they broke up. I continued to be there for him through his heartbreak, even though it was breaking my heart at the same time. But the more we talked, the more our relationship took off, and the rest is history. Looking back now we can both see the Lord working in our lives, in different ways, but leading us to each other.

There were many complications that stood in the way of us being together because of the way things stood with my boys' dad, so the cards were stacked against us. The probability of us actually being able to get married and be together were slim. But no problem is too big for the Lord. He has helped us overcome every obstacle that was put before us.

The Lord brought us together, and we continue to be amazed at how well suited we are for one another. Our Love has grown into something of fairy tales.

However, we know we aren't the product of a fairy tale.... we are a product of the Lord's will.

Thursday, February 6, 2014

It's all downhill from here....

"Ok, mom, so how is this going to work? When exactly are we moving?"

"So when we come up here to see Daddy, will we get to see everyone at church too?"

"Mommy, if our electricity goes out during the ice storm can we just go to San Antonio for a few days?"

"We're going to finally live on a cul de sac??? Awesome!!!"

"I bet the temperature in San Antonio is a lot warmer than here... that will be great!"

"So does San Antonio have little league football?"

These are just a few of the many questions and statements Jaxon has made over the past two weeks. Acceptance has arrived. The past two weeks started out rough, but praying non-stop for my child (by me and so many others) has helped him over the hump. The Lord is so amazing! I thank Him everyday for the progress Jaxon has made with the changes. Wow. I didn't hardly have time to worry about how he would handle the news... the Lord blessed him, and he's going to be just fine.

I am truly speechless with what God has done...

All I can say is: Thank you Lord!

And thank you all for the prayers for my child!

Now for the easy one.... I have to tell my youngest son this week so I can get the house up for sale soon. I'm not expecting it to be as bad as his brother, but I don't think it will be a cake walk either... I'm not worried, though, I know that God will bless him too.

The tough part is over.

It really is downhill from here.