...with my soul.
This weekend was very eye-opening for me. I had a great conversation with someone who is in my exact situation. He is a minister, which was the best part, because I was made to realize that even ministers aren't immune to the tribulations of the world. It finally sunk in that I didn't do anything to cause what happened. I don't know why it took me so long to come to terms with that. I kept trying to rationalize an irrational situation. We talked for a long time sharing our stories and how we are doing now, and I learned from talking to him is that it's ok for me to be happy about what happened.
Yes, I just said that...
Don't get me wrong, I had to endure a lot of pain and anguish, and I'm still working through problems and lasting effects of it. Especially lasting effects on my boys. But to see how much happier my home is now and how loving my boys and I are is so amazing. There is no more yelling in my house. There is no more mis-trust and speculation. I'm closer to the Lord. I'm a better church member than I used to be. I have so much joy in my life. But for me to actually say I'm happier because of what happened is just strange to me. But I am. I really, really am. I'm actually thankful for what happened, because if it hadn't I'd still be on the wrong path with someone who was a bad influence on me and my boys.
It hasn't been all sunshine and roses. I had to go through a lot of pain to get to this point. But I'm here, and I'm happy.
I will never claim to know why my life has turned out the way it has, but I will forever be thankful for it.
It is truely WELL with my soul.