I'm "Un-cool"

when I was growing up, the word we used for someone who was popular was 'cool'. I still use that word to this day for lots of things... except myself.

I've come to the conclusion that I'm not cool at all. And I'm ok with that.

Being popular was never my thing anyway. Especially now. I don't listen to the popular music, I don't read the popular books or watch the popular tv shows and movies. My ideas of entertainment have changed a lot. They're still not all great, but they're better than they were. I just can't take all the negativity that is being fed to us everyday through the media and entertainment.

I can also guarantee I'm not the most popular Mom. For one thing, I'm not here to be my boys' 'Friend'. I'm here to be their parent, and to teach them how to live their lives. I don't let them play endless hours of video games, or say words that other kids are allowed to say. I take them to church and make them play outside in the fresh air and eat their vegetables. I know there are a lot of times they don't like it. But I've learned to deal with that. Kids aren't supposed to know what's best for themselves. They need parents, not friends.

The longer I'm out in the world, the more I realize who I should try to impress and who I shouldn't. The only opinions I care about these days are those of my famly, and my church family. If I'm living my life in a way that they have only good things to say about me, then I'm doing something right.

I still have times that I try to pretend I'm cool... I don't know why. My perspective gets a wrench thrown in it, and I forget who I am. Either I'm trying to impress the wrong person, or wanting to fit in with a group I have no business being a part of. But it all comes down to wanting acceptance by the world, and that's not something I need to worry about.

Lately I've been working on being strong within myself. Standing up for my beliefs. Saying 'no' to things I shouldn't do or say, and having the courage to do the right things. It's tough to do... but it used to be down right impossible for me. So for it to be a little easier now makes me feel like I've made some progress. I still have a ways to go, though. And I'm learning more about how to do that everyday.

Sometimes I feel like I've been in a bubble for over a year. It's like the Lord protected me from all these other problems in the world while He helped me through all the changes I was going through. Now, a year later, I'm slowly being re-exposed to all of the other outside problems in the world, and I'm being re-programmed on how to deal with them. I like this re-programming. I like myself more when I handle a situation the way I'm supposed to instead of the 'cool' way.

Striving to be popular in the world will only bring about more heartache, and disappointment.

I know. I've tried.

I'm glad my priorities are starting to get straightened out.