It might sound trivial for something like a house to bring me such peace and happiness, but I have to admit, I just love my house so much.
This time last year I was hoping and wishing and praying for my old house to sell, and to be able to move. Now, a year later, I believe everything happened at the perfect time for all of us. Even though I was ready to be out of that house, and to be away from all the memories and nightmares, I don't think my boys were. I knew the move was coming sooner or later, so I was prepared. But for the boys, I think they needed the extra time to let everything sink in. I think when it finally happened they had heard me talk about it enough that they 'got it'.
My youngest boy loves our new house. I know he remembers the old house, for sure, but his little mind doesn't think back on it as much as my older boy. My oldest still has a lot of pent up feelings about the move. He misses the old house, but I think what he misses is how we were a family in the old house. He's associating that house with me and their dad being together. He's very stubborn when it comes to admitting things, but I can tell just by watching him how much happier he is now. He's still getting used to the ugly carpet, and the pink tub, but he know's we're home, and I like that.
This new house of ours isn't perfect by any means. But it fits us, and we fit in it. The house was built back in the 1970's, and has a lot of work that needs done. But I'm ok with that. The projects around the house are things that keep me sane. I've always wanted to buy an older home and fix it up, so this is a dream for me.
The boys are so much happier here too - whether the older one wants to admit it or not. At our old house they didn't have any other kids to play with, they couldn't go in the road at all, and taking a walk around the neighborhood didn't exsist. We lived on a dead end road off of a highway. Our new neighborhood is so great! There are kids everywhere, we can walk around blocks, and I don't have to worry about them going in the street. In fact, sometimes I feel like an old tv show when I have to go outside and call the kids home for supper.
I have everything I've ever wanted in a house. I have a covered front and back porch, a window above my kitchen sink to watch kids playing in the backyard, a huge window in the living room to put my Christmas tree in front of, and even a 4th whole bedroom just for me and my sewing and craft stuff. Now that spring is here, I have flowers blooming in every corner of my yard, and I have vegetables growing up a storm out back. It is truely my dream home.
All these 'things' about my new house are nice, but I think what I needed the most was a change of scenery. Somewhere that I don't have to think about the way things used to be everytime I turn a corner. The good memories were ok, it was the bad ones that haunted me. There were very few good memories made when we moved back into the house after the fire, so I really never got to enjoy living in a brand new house. It was tainted from the day we moved back in. My new home has no bad memories, and there are only good memories to come the longer we are there.
I'm so thankful it all worked out the way it was supposed to instead of when I wanted it to. That's my impatience getting the better of me again. I should always remember that the Lord's timing is always best... I think I need that embroidered on a pillow, or tattooed on my hand or something... or I'll just tie a string around my finger to help me remember that everytime I get impatient.