Monday, May 20, 2013

Be still

...and know that I am God.

It sounds easy, right?

Most of the time I feel the opposite of still.... which is restless.

Why is it so hard to understand that God is in control, and if we just turn our problems over to him and 'be still' He will help us and provide for us? I'm definately more prone to being restless than still. When I have a problem, I come up with about eighteen different ways to solve it, and then I take action. I do whatever is in my own power to try to fix whatever's wrong. Without praying about it first.

My mantra in life has always been "If you want it done right, do it yourself." I live by this saying daily. I don't trust others to do a job right, so I just do it myself. Then I don't have to worry about it. It takes a lot of trust, and faith, to be able to turn my problems over to God for help in solving them. Especially when my nature is very stubborn and independent.

Everywhere we look these day, especially on the internet, we see pretty words that are telling us that if you want something, don't wait for it to come to you... go out and get it for yourself. Make things happen. Everything in the world tells us to rely on ourselves to fix problems and not God. I guess because I see this stuff so much it starts to creep in. I try to do too much for myself without praying about it first. I just assume I know what's best for me.

Lately it seems everytime I try to take thing into my own hands and "make things happen" I quickly find out that wasn't the path for me. I can't count how many times I've kicked myself for making a bad decision, but deep down I know I didn't pray about it first. Sometimes I even know it's wrong and do it anyways. It takes an enormous amount of faith to not take action and to pray. And wait. And be still.

It all leads back to patience.

That's my one achilles heel that I can't seem to overcome. However, the past week or so I've felt very happy and content with my life. I hope that is the Lord's answer for my prayers for patience. The more content I am, the more I can be still and I like that.

Even though all the saying on the internet usually rub me the wrong way, there is one cheesy one that I keep seeing that I kind of like. It says:

Until God opens the next door, praise Him in the hallway.

I know it's just another saying that someone came up with and now it's overused... but I can relate to it. I'm just here. In a hallway. Being still... or at least trying.

The ironic part is that my favorite church hymn is 'Be still, my soul'. Now I just have to live it.

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