It is the first day of a brand new year.
New Years has never really meant that much to me over the years. It just seemed like every other day. But this one seems different. I've never looked forward to a new year more than I have this one. I know that by this time next year my life will, Lord willing, be totally different. But in a good way.
But part of me can't help but remember the past.
Two years ago on New Years Day my life was a different story... My husband had just moved out two days earlier, and I was a week away from filing for divorce - I just didn't know it at the time. Mostly, I was in a very lonely place. No one knew what I was going through. No one was around to comfort me. But I had made a New Years resolution to myself. My resolution was to go to church. Not just on Sundays, but every time I could. Besides, I didn't really want to be at home. I knew I needed to get out of the house, and be with people that loved me, and whom I loved. I knew that was what my heart needed. It needed my church family.
I remember going to church the first Wednesday night of 2012, and it changed me. I can't tell you what was preached on, or even who all was there, but I knew from that point on my resolution would be easy to keep. I knew that church would be my safe place from the world, and from my life that was falling apart.
Fast forward one year....
New Years day 2013 was a calm time for me. All of the stress and drama from the divorce was past. We had just moved into our new house just weeks earlier. Life was good. My mental state was getting better, and I was feeling less like my life was over, and more like my life was just starting to begin. I went to Wednesday night church the next day, and I was happy to think about all the of the church services I had been blessed to be able to attend that past year. I was happy that the Lord helped me keep my conviction to be in church as much as I could. I tried to make as many regular services as I could, as well as attending big meetings. (One in which, would change my life forever. I just didn't know it at the time.)
Now hear I am another year later...
...and I'm happy. Truly happy. The Lord continues to bless me and my boys despite my constant failings. I've never been more ready for a year to start. I know there are wonderful changes coming. It won't all be easy, and the details of the changes are still up in the air. But I am convinced that by New Years Day 2015 everything will have worked itself out, and I will be even more blissfully happy than I am on this New years Day.
I got up this morning to read my bible, and it was almost impossible to make out the words because there were so many tears of joy in my eyes. Everything I read made me realize how very blessed I am. Today is Wednesday, so I have church tonight. I'm looking forward to it. This service brings back a lot of memories for me. Some bad, but some good too. Because this service is only once a month, it helps me think about how far I've come with each month that passes. The healing that took place that month. The blessings that happened. The changes that took place. Even just this past month, my life is better than it was last month, and the month before. When I think of where I am today, it makes me wonder how things will be next month, as well as next year.
I can't wait to find out.
Happy New Year to you all, and I pray the Lord will bless you in the coming year.