Thursday, August 1, 2013

Momentary relapse...

This evening has been very nice. I don't have the boys, so I decided to get a little painting done.

I'm at a very good place right now. I have fought a battle within myself to trust in God when it comes to my future. Before, I felt it was always my job to be on the look out for Mr. Right. I felt I couldn't even leave the house with a hair out of place for fear of not being prepared for whenever I met him.

Well, I'm thankfully a whole lot smarter now, well maybe not a whole lot, but at least a little. I sometimes look back and think about how dumb I was. These days I'm just sitting back not worrying about a thing. I have so many other things going on in my life to concentrate on. Worrying about my future is just a waste of time. Besides, I've made up my mind that it doesn't matter where I am or what I'm doing, if an attractive man acts interested in me and isn't in the church, I just need to move on. They are not worth my time or energy. If God means for me to be with someone that is not in my church, then I will trust Him in that situation.

But.... sometimes I relapse.

Back to my painting....

I was painting some chairs and ran out of paint, and I decide to go to Walmart to get some more. I'm in my paint clothes, hair in a ponytail, and my make-up is non-existent at this point. But I'm not worried about it. It's all good. There is no one at Walmart that I need to impress.

I go into the store, and the sun is hitting me in the eyes. When my vision finally clears, there he is. This tall, dark and handsome man staring right at me. I seriously had to catch my breath. Where did he come from? Could he really be from my little town? Why is he looking at me?? I'm trying to think of other things I need to get while I'm there so I can see him again. We make eye contact a few more times while I'm in there. My subconscious is telling me "He's a man of the world, let it go." "He's going to be just like all the others, it will only end in heartache." The other side of my brain (that doesn't like to listen to my subconscious) is ignoring all those thoughts, and trying to come up with something I need on aisle 7.

When I get in my car, I decide to look in the mirror to make sure I looked at least half way decent...

...and I see that I have black paint on the end of my nose.

Yep... no wonder he was staring.

That's about par for the course.

My future is back in the hands of the Lord. As it should be.

1 comment: