One month ago my life completely changed.
I got married.
I moved states.
I became a stay at home mom.
I gained lots of step-sons!
I'm living it a totally different house, trying to find everything, and trying to find my place in it.
Everything is going smoothly, but every once in a while I get this weird feeling.... like I've forgotten something. I check my to-do list, I check my purse, I count my kids... I even check to make sure I have all the ingredients I need to make supper. It's all there.
What am I forgetting??
From what I can gather, I'm still transitioning. I have many tasks and responsibilities here in my new life, but I also had those things in my old life too. Just different ones. A lot of my jobs are the same here, but maybe my mind is worried about not doing my old chores, or maybe I'm just missing all my Arkansas friends. I'm not sure. Maybe I feel like I'm forgetting to go to work. It's very bizarre.
For the next two and a half weeks my boys are at their dad's house in Arkansas. I miss them terribly. yesterday was my first full day back home without them, and I was so lost. I've been without them before the wedding. All the time. But this is my first time in this house without them, and I just couldn't function. I went to the gym and I wasn't able to relax because I felt like I should have them with me or that I needed to go pick them up from wherever they were.
I'm afraid my feeling of missing something is going to be pretty bad till I get them back.
The truth is, I'm homesick.
I don't think I've ever experienced true homesickness till now. Not that I want to move back, but I just miss my people. I miss knowing where everything is. I miss the familiarity of my life back in Arkansas. Everything is different here...
...except two things. The love of my husband and the church. I'm so thankful that no matter where I am, if there is a church, then it's home. It might be a different building with different people. But it's still home.
I thank the Lord everyday for this life I've been given. Soon I won't be so homesick, and I'll stop feeling like something's missing. I pray for that day.