It seems no matter what stage or situation I'm in, I always pray for two things: strength and patience.
I had a time when I would pray for the strength to make through every hour of every day, and patience to wait for the Lord to show me the next step I need to take in my life.
These days I'm praying for the strength and patience to make it till June.
I'm missing the love of my life. I'm trying so hard to concentrate on my life here and now, but it's hard. I'm ready to be with him everyday. This waiting period.... or holding pattern.... is killing me.
I've heard somewhere before a saying that goes: The days are long, but the years are short. I agree. but in my case, the days are long, but the weeks are short.... or sometimes it feels like the days are short but the weeks are long. Oh, who am I kidding... the days and weeks are both long. I don't have the desire to do anything. I basically have 'Senioritis'... That stage you go through right before graduation where you are so ready to get out of there you slack off on everything. Yep, that's me. I'm slacking, and it's not good. I'm just biding my time till my life can start again. I don't have the desire to do my day-to-day things because I don't have him here with me. It's not a good place to be.
Don't worry, I know what I need to be doing, and there's no one in the world that can lecture me about that better than myself. I'm my worst cridict, and toughest competitor. I know exactly what I should be doing.... I'm just not doing it. Sometimes I let my chores slide so I can sit and daydream about my future. I'm like a teenager... actually I'm worse than a teenager... I'm a thirty-something working mom that can't stay focused.
This long distance relationship thing is very hard. It's going to be totally worth it in the end, but that doesn't make it any easier right now. I'm missing him. He's missing me. We both have the mullygrubs, and we're chomping at the bit till we can be together.
I always told myself I would never use my blog to complain. And I'm not. I'm just using it to tell you what I'm praying for tonight. I'm praying for strength and patience. I'm going to need lots of both to make it till June. I can't do it on my own. I need my Lord to help me through each and every day. And I have faith the Lord will bless me to be able to make it till then. That's the nice thing about praying... In my moments of weakness I can say a quick prayer, and instantly I have the strength to make it a little bit longer. I don't know how people survive without prayer. I really don't.