Tuesday, August 25, 2015

What I'm learning the second time around..... Being equally yoked

When I was engaged the first time I was not very knowledgeable when it came to God.  I had grown up in the church, and mostly understood the importance of it in my life.  My fiancé and I had the pre-marriage counseling by my father, but I still don't think it was setting in how big of a role God and the church needed to play in our lives as a married couple.  

Maybe it wasn't impressed upon me enough, or maybe I just had my head buried in the sand, who knows.  Either way, I messed up.  

My fiancé would go to church with me sometimes, we would have talks about God, and sometimes he would tell me that he didn't really believe in God, but he had no problem with me going to church.  

To me, this didn't sound like THAT bad of a deal, so I chose to ignore my worries about what that would mean for our future.  Boy, was I stupid.  Since then, I have studied what it means to be unequally yoked.  Let me see if I can explain it..... 

Back when animals were used to pull various loads of things, they would have something called a 'yoke' that went around the animals' necks.  If they paired up an ox and a donkey the two animals would pull at different rates, and they would struggle to do the job.  They couldn't work as a team, and in the end they would ultimately be pulling against each other.  These animals are unequally yoked.  However, if you pair up two oxen to pull the load, they would work together at the same rate in and same direction and be successful because they are equally yoked. 

Same goes for marriages.  If a husband and wife don't start off with the same morals and beliefs, they will move and change at different rates.  They will struggle to work together as a team, and ultimately, they will end up pulling against each other.  

That is what happened with me.  I went into the marriage knowing we believed differently, and hoping that he would eventually come around to my way of thinking.  Have I mentioned how stupid I was?  I could look back and wish I had been better advised, but the truth is, I was advised.  I just let go in one ear and out the other.  I didn't want to hear that my fiancé might not be the one for me.  

I can't look back and wish things differently.  I have two amazing boys, and I wouldn't change that for anything.  Besides, any other road wouldn't have led me to the love of my life.  I have no regrets.  

So, I guess what I learned this time around is to make sure you are equally yoked with your spouse.  I am now, and it has made all the difference.  


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