Friday, September 5, 2014

Guilty? Who me?

Ok, so I've been thinking about this feeling I have... you know, the one where I feel like I've forgetting something... And it's strange because this feeling has turned to guilt.

I don't understand it.

It's a constant nagging feeling.

I feel guilty for not spending enough time with the boys, even though I'm home with them everyday. I feel guilty because I took them away from their dad. I feel guilty for leaving so many friends back in Arkansas. I feel guilty for moving further away from my family. I feel guilty because I'm enjoying being a stay at home mom, and I feel guilty because I still have a house back in Arkansas that I'm renting... not sure where the guilt is in that, but it's there nonetheless.

Why do I feel so guilty all the time??

I just don't get it.

I know that I am where the Lord wants me to be. Everything is right. Everything is how it should be. I've learned my role, and my place in this family and in this world. I know this is my calling. So what's up with the guilt?

Usually when I write about something that puzzles me I can come up with the answer while I'm writing... but this time I'm still confused.

I'm going to pray about it.

I love where I am, and the family we've made, and I'd just really like to be able to enjoy it without all the weird guilt.


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