Ok, so I've been thinking about this feeling I have... you know, the one where I feel like I've forgetting something... And it's strange because this feeling has turned to guilt.
I don't understand it.
It's a constant nagging feeling.
I feel guilty for not spending enough time with the boys, even though I'm home with them everyday. I feel guilty because I took them away from their dad. I feel guilty for leaving so many friends back in Arkansas. I feel guilty for moving further away from my family. I feel guilty because I'm enjoying being a stay at home mom, and I feel guilty because I still have a house back in Arkansas that I'm renting... not sure where the guilt is in that, but it's there nonetheless.
Why do I feel so guilty all the time??
I just don't get it.
I know that I am where the Lord wants me to be. Everything is right. Everything is how it should be. I've learned my role, and my place in this family and in this world. I know this is my calling. So what's up with the guilt?
Usually when I write about something that puzzles me I can come up with the answer while I'm writing... but this time I'm still confused.
I'm going to pray about it.
I love where I am, and the family we've made, and I'd just really like to be able to enjoy it without all the weird guilt.