Lunch break

Having the Bible on your phone is just about the coolest thing ever. It helps to know I can have access to it at any point during the day. I pulled it out at lunch to do a little reading and stumbled on this. I've heard it before, but never knew where to find it. This is where I am right now. ....

...I'm asking, I'm seeking, I'm knocking.

I feel like I'm light years behind everyone else when it comes to my knowledge of the Bible... but I'm working on it a little bit at a time. The good news is that I've got the rest of my life to catch up. I'm just glad I started now instead of waiting. I'm looking forward to church tonight, and all throughout this weekend.

Blessings in disguise

I wish there were more opportunities in this life to tell the stories of times we've been blessed by God, or how something that seemed like a trial turned out to be a blessing in disguise.

Of course I think the past few years have been a blessing for me. Even though, at the time, I couldn't see it. All I could see was my life falling apart... I hadn't thought about how it would be put back together.

Whenever I think of times like that, my mind always goes back to 2004. I had something happen that has no explanation other than God was watching over me.

That year my husband and I lived in Stillwater, OK. I was working as an artist in a local screen print shop, and he was in his junior year of Vet School at OSU. That June he started a preceptorship at a Veterinary clinic in the Fort Smith area - one that he would later go on to work for after graduation.

One Sunday evening I was headed back to Stillwater after going to visit him for the weekend. On the turnpike headed to Tulsa I had a blowout, in fact my passenger rear tire had completely disintegrated. Nothing left but strings of rubber. I'd never seen anything like it. I was thankful not to be going up to speed when it happened. I managed to limp my little Nissan Sentra to the next exit to get to a safe area to figure out what to do, and in the process of making calls a car pulled over to see if they could help me.

A man and woman got out of the car. They looked to be about the same age as my parents. I got to talking to them, and they said they saw me standing on the side of the road looking at my tire, and they could see that I was scared and alone. This couple just happened to be on their way to the cemetery to put flowers on their daughter's grave. They said she would've been about my age. They saw me, and felt a strong desire to help me. They knew I would have parents out there, just like them, who would be worried about me. I believe whatever happened to their daughter gave them the conviction to help me. I also believe they were my angels.

But the story doesn't end there...

The man helped me change my tire, and made sure I was ok to get back on the highway. I was getting kind of emotional at that point, and cried for a ways after leaving them. I'm not sure why the whole situation was making me that way. I guess I just felt 'watched over'. I had calmed down as I came into the south side of Tulsa, and I noticed flashing lights in the distance. There were emergency vehicles everywhere, and policemen detouring everyone off of the main highway to a secondary road. I pulled over to a grocery store to get directions back to the highway I needed and asked if they knew what had happened. Apparently there had been a horrible six car accident about a half hour or so earlier.

I got back in my car and completely lost it. I knew that if I hadn't gotten the flat tire, that would've put me in Tulsa about the same time as the accident.

Wow.

What is there to do in a moment like that besides pray and thank God for protection?

I prayed till I got my composure, and finally made my way back to Stillwater safely. I will never forget that night, in fact I remember everything about that evening with complete clarity. It is permanently etched in my mind.

The next time something happens that you think is a nuisance... just think about what it might be keeping you safe from. You never know when those little nuisances are actually blessings... and we don't even realize it.

They say confession is good for the soul.....

Hi, my name is Leslye and I'm a PK.

Other PK's know what a PK is, and even some that aren't know what it is.

A PK is a 'Preacher's Kid'.

In fact, I'm not only a PK, but I am a PGD (Preacher's Granddaughter), as well as a PN (Preacher's niece... two times over for that matter). Yes, Christmas' growing up were all about the preachers getting together to talk smack... or just discuss the scriptures, whichever they chose at the time.

You would think, given my background, that I would be well read when it comes to the Bible. Welllll.... truth be told, I'm not. In fact, my confession is that I didn't really start reading my bible till January 2013. Yep, that's right, this year. No, I am not proud of this.

Oh, don't get me wrong, I've been familiar with the bible since I was little. I grew up with little copies that stayed on my dresser with print so tiny you needed a magnifying glass to read it. The one I'm using now I received in 2002 for Christmas from my parents. It has my name on it, and is inscribed to me in my Dad's handwriting. Even though, at the time, I wasn't real excited to get it. As far as Christmas presents go it was kind of at the bottom of the 'exciting' list for a 25 year old. But I knew I would be glad to have it one day.

Over the years I would pick it up and flip through it, or glance at different books, chapters and verses, but really it was just hieroglyphics to me. Then my marriage started to crumble. I found myself trying more and more to find some peace and comfort in the pages of it. I would look up verses that dealt with prayer, dealing with tribulation, and such. It was helping, so I started taking it to church to read along with the ministers.

After I moved into my new house I felt fresh and revived, like I had finally gotten away from the last part of my former life. Once we were settled I started having this gnawing feeling that I should be reading my bible everyday. So, in January I changed the time my alarm clock to one hour earlier and it hasn't changed since. I get up, make my coffee.... drink about a fourth of it.... and then I begin my quiet time with God. I pray and read about 2-3 pages until my eyelids start to get heavy and the shower starts calling my name... or until a sleepy boy wakes up and breaks my concentration.

I started in James, and read it all the way through. Since then I've skipped around back and forth from the old testament to the new. I'll read a book till I'm done and then I see where my fingers open up to. Sometimes I know which one I want to read next and sometimes I don't, or sometimes I just pick a really short book just so I can cross it off. That's my list oriented side coming out. But either way I know wherever I read I can't lose. It will all get read, it's just a matter of time.

As you can see I've got a good start going. I keep putting off the longer books in the old testament, but I will get there eventually... and I'm probably going to save Revelations till last. To be honest, from what I've heard it's confusing. I think I need as much under my belt as I can before I dive into it.

Right now I'm in Luke, and this morning I read past my normal time... I had to rush to get the boys around because I just couldn't stop. I don't think the 'me' from ten years ago would even recognize the 'me' from today, and that's a good thing.

Sometimes....

Sometimes, in the late night hours, I think way too much.

Sometimes I wish I could turn off my head for a little while and not think.

Sometimes I wonder about the decisions that led me to where I am today.

Sometimes I wish I could go back and make different decisions.... but then I see my boys and change my mind.

Sometimes I wonder how to tell the difference between the Lord's will and my own.

Sometimes I go down the wrong path thinking it's the right one.

Sometimes I get my heart broken no matter how hard I try to guard it.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm meant to be alone, and raise the boys by myself.

Sometimes I'm ok with that, because I'm terrified of repeating my past.

Sometimes I wonder if the fear of making the same mistakes has made my standards so high no man will ever live up to them.

Sometimes I want to lower my standards.... but I won't.

Sometimes I feel like I'm constantly waiting for the rest of my life to start.

Sometimes I'm very hopeful about my future.

Sometimes I'm not.

Sometimes at night the silence in my house is deafening.

Sometimes the things I write on here are prayers....

...I always feel the prayers are heard, and the Lord comforts me in the late night hours.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm too open about my life, and should be more like Mary who kept things in her heart.

Sometimes I think if I did that I'd go crazy....

Sometimes all I have to do is think of this hymn and it hits the spot:

Mixtures of joy and sorrow I daily do pass through;
Sometimes I'm in the valley, And sinking down with woe;
Sometimes I am exalted, On eagle's wings I fly;
I rise above my troubles, And hope to reach the sky.

With God, all things are possible.

Mark 10:27.

When I think about my future, I sometimes get overwhelmed. The ideas of what I want for my future sometimes seem out of reach, or too many obstacles are hindering me from it. But when my worries seem to weigh me down, I just think of this verse and I'm fine. No matter what happens in my future, if it is the Lord's will, He will provide the necessary paths and doorways that will lead to it. I'm confident in that, and it puts my mind at ease. And if the paths are not there, then I can rest assured that it was not the path for me. I just pray to have the wisdom to know the difference.