Sometimes....

Sometimes, in the late night hours, I think way too much.

Sometimes I wish I could turn off my head for a little while and not think.

Sometimes I wonder about the decisions that led me to where I am today.

Sometimes I wish I could go back and make different decisions.... but then I see my boys and change my mind.

Sometimes I wonder how to tell the difference between the Lord's will and my own.

Sometimes I go down the wrong path thinking it's the right one.

Sometimes I get my heart broken no matter how hard I try to guard it.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm meant to be alone, and raise the boys by myself.

Sometimes I'm ok with that, because I'm terrified of repeating my past.

Sometimes I wonder if the fear of making the same mistakes has made my standards so high no man will ever live up to them.

Sometimes I want to lower my standards.... but I won't.

Sometimes I feel like I'm constantly waiting for the rest of my life to start.

Sometimes I'm very hopeful about my future.

Sometimes I'm not.

Sometimes at night the silence in my house is deafening.

Sometimes the things I write on here are prayers....

...I always feel the prayers are heard, and the Lord comforts me in the late night hours.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm too open about my life, and should be more like Mary who kept things in her heart.

Sometimes I think if I did that I'd go crazy....

Sometimes all I have to do is think of this hymn and it hits the spot:

Mixtures of joy and sorrow I daily do pass through;
Sometimes I'm in the valley, And sinking down with woe;
Sometimes I am exalted, On eagle's wings I fly;
I rise above my troubles, And hope to reach the sky.