From reading this blog, I'm sure you can tell I'm a fairly open person.
I'm a firm believer that the problems we go through in this life can help others going through the same things if we just share our experiences. I'm the first to admit when I find a breakthrough that helps but I'll also be the first to admit when I need help.
This past March was the five-year mark of when my life changed. I've had a lot of support during that time, but I don't think I'm where I should be yet as far as healing goes. The changes that my family, as well as David's family, went through have impacted all of us in so many different ways. Some have come through with flying colors, while others have come through with battle scars and lasting issues.
This is commonly referred to as PTSD, or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
Next week one of our kids is going to start therapy and I have decided to join them and seek some help myself. It's not good to know it's been five years and I'm still having the same trust issues I had after the divorce. I'm finally in a wonderful, loving and committed marriage and there should be no reason for me to worry. Yet something will happen and the ghosts come back.
I can't stop them…but I want to. I want to be able to live a normal life without all the fears that still possess me.
If you had told me five years ago that I'd be seeing a therapist, I would have thought you were crazy. I've always been fairly grounded and tuned to my feelings...and I still believe that most mental problems can be solved with prayer and counseling from a minister or the brothers and sisters in the church. Yet, I am starting to think PTSD is real and something I suffer from. So where I used to be very anti-therapy, I'm learning I'm not always right, and that talking to a counselor that has Christian values can be helpful.
I also used to be very anti-divorce...
...Hello, Irony, it's good to see you again old friend. Come sit down and talk.
So here I am, swallowing my pride once more, but I'm looking forward to going to my first session. I plan to share my progress here. I might as well as you've been with me through my healing process thus far, I guess I'd better see this through.
And who knows, maybe my experiences will help someone else going through the same thing. That's what I keep telling myself at least. How I see it, if I help just one person, then it's worth putting my story out there.
So, please join me in this new journey, and if you find a blessing in any of it then give the glory to God.
LLM
